Wednesday, July 05, 2006

It's All Me, Me, Me (and no knitting)

Due to the fact that I have now convinced myself that I'm suffering from MS or tumours in the neck, or possibly both, I have to stop knitting and let the feeling come back to my finger, so I can prove I'm wrong! You may be laughing but I have suffered from at least five life-threatening diseases so far this year (only in my mind, of course) and I know what a negative effect this has on the body; it may one day become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because I'm an all-or-nothing sort of person and because I know the importance of good nutrition and a healthy, balanced lifestyle, and because I know I haven't been leading a healthy, balanced lifestyle, I am now paranoid that I may drop dead in the near future. I take after my dad. Lucky for me I haven't inherited the tendency to suffer from the severe depression that has been upon him sporadically for much of his life (or if I do, it's certainly not as deep). I can't believe that until a couple of months ago, it had been a year and a half since my last visit to the long-suffering doc's.

I like to think sensitive and serious people are more interesting.

What I meant to say instead of all of the above is I have found other things to do - non knitting things. Honestly, I think the physical act of knitting and the almost-obsession with it, which I suffered from for about two months this year (February and March and possibly April), are bad for me. Yes, it's great for a person to have a hobby or interest, but not an all-consuming one which seems to involve a lot of sitting on the sofa with my knitting and yearning for things I can't afford. Having said that, I'm not giving up the old clicketyclickclick anytime soon.

The blogging, however, is good for me and has really opened up my world. I prefer to live a life with few friends and a few more acquaintances. It suits me fine - I've never felt the need to keep in touch with everyone I've ever met through various stages of my life. The people I keep in touch with are special to me. I have probably made one new genuine friend in the last few years. But most people are just passing through and the friendships, transient (my choice). Because unless the bond is stong enough, I just drift away. But it is great, finding a person you actually want to be closer to. Unless you're my sister and you collect friends like charms on a bracelet, and then it's commonplace. But I digress again. Simply, I intended to say that I like this blogging thing and it seems there's a whole bunch of people out there that I'm genuinely glad to "know". Thank you all for "sharing" (yuk expression) and also for appearing to take an interest in whatever I'm rambling on about. But now you're probably thinking I'm horrid and self-absorbed. Sometimes it's difficult to explain myself in writing. Oh, Jeannette Winterson, how do you manage it so well?

Today I have done my Davina workout. It's a killer. Davina may shout a lot but she does a bloomin' good workout. I have listened to Vaughan Williams (mesmerising), Sinead O'Connor (what?!), Fairground Attraction (!), Marian McPartland (more like it) and Charles and I have danced a lot. What are those things called that you hang skirts by (tags?). I've sewn some of them into my skirts and I have made carrot, orange and coconut soup for lunch.

Now I have told you too much about ME but will stop at which pants I'm wearing. I should like to think that if I met any of you in person, it wouldn't all be me me me. Blogs are very efficient instruments for appearing to inflate the old ego (or even for creating alternative versions).

Maybe we'll get some hard cash soon. One of our bands (I mean one of Nick's bands) has been entered for the Mercury Music prize and it would be great if they were shortlisted. This is a man who is truly creative and talented. Check him out if you like . The album has very many great reviews and will be featured on a Mojo CD soon.

By the way, the above photos (except for the one of Charles, looking out at the pouring rain)were intended to remind you of the weather of just a couple of days ago. It's too gloomy to take a photo of Ella3 progress.

Even if you're not really interested in sewing, check out this one-seam convertible dress (scroll down a bit to see it - it's the blue one). How versatile is that? I bet you could even make it with a slightly lower waist if you wanted.


  1. Awww, tell us about your pants...
    Or you could just share the soup recipe. The subtle bondage dress link is pretty ingenious. I can't work out how you'd find a piece of fabric wide enough to make a reasonable length skirt from a single circle. I wonder how it would look in an A-line version. Ok, it would need a couple more seems but that wouldn't be terrible. And what do you wear under it? Nothing? Dare I? My Girl Guide Knotters badge notwithstanding (really), I'm not sure I trust my trussing skills where naked flesh is concerned. You know what the dress reminds me of? Marilyn Monroe on that grating. Ok, that's it; I want a white one. Silk jersey would be nice.
    I couldn't get the Sweet Billy Pilgrim link to open on my mac but good luck with the music prize. And.. big thumbs up to Jeannette Winterson. Did you like Sexing the Cherry? I think I alienated a sister-in-law by giving her that. haha.
    And, finally, what a lovely garden.

  2. I second the garden comment :-)
    I think it's generally accepted that more creative people suffer? enjoy? more emotional highs and lows than others. I find music helps a lot. I have to script it carefully, but a series of good choices can turn what promises to be a really bad day into a productive, cheering event. Also just getting on with stuff that has to be done: the busier I am, the less time I have to dwell on unpleasantnesses. Physical activity helps to burn anger, frustration and energy to leave me tired: I work out at the gym (cardio work and pilates) for nearly 2 hours Mon/Wed/Fri mornings; if I miss that I find things go downhill rapidly. Do Davina regularly and shout back :-)

    Vaughan Williams. Mmmmm. Some years back a TV documentary showed the preparations for a performance of 'Fantasia on a theme by Thomas Tallis' at Gloucester, with the musicians playing simultaneously in different locations in the cathedral, miked to try to reproduce the effect that Vaughan Williams intended. It was... stunning. It engaged our attention completely: we put the TV sound through the stereo and I sat on the couch overwhelmed by the beauty of the music, tears streaming down my face.

  3. Fiona, you are funny!

    I'm going to make that dress at some point, maybe not in white, though. Not brave enough.

    I have read all of Ms Winterson's books. I loved Sexing the Cherry but it was a long time ago that I read it and I can only remember the gist of it, not the details. I believe she has a book out this month (must check that). Oh, she's fantastic.

    Sarah, you are so right about the physical activity. It's very important to me (but that doesn't guarantee I'll do it). Yesterday I made a lovely big exercise space in my groovy dining room, so now I can play my DVD on the pc (and not on the TV) without moving tables and regardless of what anyone else in the house is doing.

    "Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis" is my absolute and utter favourite. I find it quite overwhelming on occasion. It actually affects me physically, as well as emotionally. Oh how I wish I saw that TV prog. I'm going to hotfoot it to the CD player right now. The neighbours are at work - yeah!

  4. Oh, by the way, the garden is Waterperry (certainly nothing like my garden!!!)

  5. I know what you mean about the driving obsession knitting can become - though perhaps it affects "converts" like you and me more than people who have been knitting regularly all their lives.
    Sitting on the sofa for large parts of the day staring at something six inches away can't be that good for you. I'm now trying to learn to knit with my eyes shut so I can read at the same time, like Elizabeth Zimmerman.